If anyone wants anything from Japan email me now. I don't mean presents.
Eg: Paradise Kiss manga: $15cdn+$3 shipping.
Clothing too. just ask.
maybe i should just delete everyone from my msn and then see who talks to me about something interesting and add them again, cause it seems that the people whom i thought were my friends are just using me. i mean, fuck. I dont care if the chick in Death Rabbits is wearing a skirt or hotpants, and im not going to argue that fucking point with you. And Im not going to go hunt for a fucking picture of this obscure band just because YOU want to cosplay her without EVER HEARING THE FUCKING MUSIC! and holy shit, I think I'm turning into an alcoholic. and my student gave me pics of karaoke when we went, and holy jesus-assholes (cause it has more than one) im so gross. I fucking hate my body. I want it to just melt away. I've been walking so bloody much, and not eating as much, and nothing. nothing is happening. maybe ill try NOT eating for once. but before I do that, im trying these jelly energy things, and they're really tasty and fill you up. I'm hoping and PRAYING that this will work. I'm so fucking stressed and tired and fucking sick of everything, especially those asshole "I'm only your friend if you do this for me... and this and this and this and have meanless conversation about SHIT." Barbarackt out.
IMMA BACK!
Here's what happened:
I LOST ALL MY EVERYTHING!!! ;________; But now I'm back! AND I'm going to Beauty Fool's!! and D!! hahaha, and hopefully FATIMA, if I get a response ;_; XD I drew Lay this awesome pic from Jo-Jo's Bizarre Adventure XD WIFEY!!! I MISSED YOUR CALL!! or did you even call me ;_;
bah! i wont be onlione for a WHILE!!!! WHY!??!?! I HAVE A FUCKING TROJAN HORSE AND A BLOODY DOWNLOADER AGENT ON THE COMPUTER!!! >_<;;;;;; So yeah, I won't be on. ;_; GOMEN NE!
Sorry to my fangirls and bois for not updating in, what.. a week?
SO, today was a SHITTY day!! I didn't wake up for my Japanese lesson, so I don't know if my teacher came to the house or not, cause I woke up at like...6am, and thought: FUCK THIS, I WANT MORE SLEEP *changes wake up time from 10am to 2pm* So of course I wake up at noon >_< and then have 3.5 hours to KILL before my first class (which is my most HATED class, btw) So 330 comes, and I just bullshit through class, cause those little bastards don't listen no matter what I do/yell/scream. Then I have to get a ride to the train station so that I can take the train, then a taxi, to my next class which is a company class, which I don't mind too much. But they didn't give me a taxi ticket last week, so I was going to have to pay for the trip, then get my yen back from the grandma. So I get to the train station, have my usual smoke outside, then go to the little shopping centre that's in the train station (lovingly named Yan-yan) and head to the toilets to blow my nose. Then I head out and RESIST the urgs to buy cds/magazines and have yet another smoke inside (cause you can smoke almost EVERYWHERE in Japan) So there's some hott guy and his almost-hot girlfriend there and they're talking while she's using the 'massage chair' (you put in 100yen and it massages you for 10 minutes, wow) so they keep talking (me is listening to FATIMA w00t) and I dunno, they were fighting or breaking up or something, but the guy dissapears, then comes back to the escalator, and KICKS THE GARBAGE CAN, and... goes down the escalator. He had a really cute, short friend, too ^^ yeah, so then I left, and the escalator wasnt working, so i walked around the 3rd floor, then it was working, so I went out to take my taxi. Saw 'angry guy' and 'really cute, short friend' and almost fell down the stairs cause I tripped on my skirt. WRONG
He got lost. WAY lost. I payed him, got out and was like O_o;;;; WTF. Where the hell am i?! Annd by this point he'd already taken off. So I call Tan-san (the guy who's in charge of the company class) and tell him what happened, and where I am (sort of cause I CANT READ FUCKING KANJI) and he says he'll be there soon. He rings me up about 10 minutes later, 'I cant find the place' WHAT THE FUCK>!>! So I find another building and tell him the katakana on it. again, 'ill be there soon'
another 10-15 later, Tan-san gets to where I am, but by that time, there would only have been 10 minutes left for class, so he said not to worry about it and drove me to the house. FUCK I felt like SUCH an idiot (and still do). So now I'm at the house. Only 10 more weeks. Only 10 more weeks. I'm thinking about just saying 'FUCK YOU' to Saitama, and paying 42000/month for a room in Otsuka. Fucking 6 minutes from Yamanote! I'll see. I think I'll make up my mind really soon, cause I don't really have a choice. The house in Otsuka's all chicks though. *is wary of females* Any advice? Oh yeah. And MIYAVI'S HOTT ASS IS HOTT!!!!!
bah. I was going to update... but I don't really feel like it anymore. Ja...-.-
Um.. Hiatus over >_O I'll for sure go on hiatus LONGER in January, when my only source of internet will be the net cafes where guys go to read porno manga :p I'll be right at home! Aw, fuck. I keep forgetting that I have to take the garbage out >_<
Aw shit. I still need that celly card for Hizumi. DAMMIT!
hiatus maybe.
I was going to write something, but I think it's safer if it wasn't here.
THEY MADE IT IN CURE!! A WHOLE FUCKING PAGE!! XDDDD CLIIIIIIICK!!! yeah, that's a q-tip next to the magazine... not used!
11...more...weeks todays post (written yesterday cause i was the bored.)
I've finally decided to put up some pics of me/the house/my wifey ^^ Yeah, I'm NOT asking her permission, cause this is the INTERNET and ANYTHING GOES. Besides, I want to show my wifey's hottness to all!
empty orifice
Here's us having sex in the orifice. I'm the big bad seme
XD and here's the...worst thing in the world!! *I'm SO sorry, Mana-sama!!!* and here's hottsexxsoup, er.. FATIMA! Spread those legs, Sanaka!!! further...FURTHER!!!!XD Nya nya!! Fuck. Kill Bill 2 SUCKED ASS! except for Nya nya XD What it needed was some more gore and blood, maybe an alien or 7. here's a duck from the Alice in Wonderland/whatever the hell it was called picnic. I named him Mijo...yes. I have problems. annnd, nutmilk.. this is a REAL CHOCOLATE BAR. NOT PHOTOSHOPPED!!! and here's MOI! I look like I'm on crack... wearing my Silverchair Freak Show tour t-shirt (YEAH! I STILL HAVE IT XDDD) I think I look like a man here. I love it! XD This one was taken right after I dyed my hair AGAIN! dammit.. you can see the CURL >_<
here's
some
more
androgyny!!
Heres some NOT looking like a guy..much? oO nuff said ^^ schlumberger. Shinya (Dir en grey) Dragonfly cosplay! Shinya likes panties ^^ yes he does heres my baby, Yomi ^^ I miss him SO much ;___; I think this pic was taken right after he ATE MORE OF MY FABRIC!!
and because I'm a whore! Yay!
Here's the loverly bAss I wish I could pull off an outfit like THIS! Beautiful. Just...beautiful
annnnd...!! *posting in LJ also.. cause I'm feeling like a narcissist!*
I'm back in Iwaki again. God, Fukushima-ken is SO boring!
ok so once again I have pulled the "let's not sleep for 3 days" thing
I went to Tokyo, for those who didn't know (you ASSHOLES!) specifically for 2 reasons:
2) TO SEE MANDRAGORA LIVE!! (whee!) if you like malice mizer-type gothique style music, you'll LOVE Mandragora. He's a one-man show, and is really superb. A great artist/showman. The show was at Shinjuku HEAD POWER (really tiny and intimate. I think it's almost smaller than Urawa Narciss! but it's 2 floors, where ad Narciss is just one...). But of course, being the directional-mastermind that I am, it took me about 2-3hours to find the place (hooray for my bad sense of direction!), so it was a good idea that I got to Tokyo at like.. 10am. But I got to sleep on the train!! ...then got off at the wrong station!! Damn you Nippori!! So I went and bought fabric. Yay! Sewing! Um.. yeah. Back to Mandragora! So the show started at midnight, and there was DJ's and like... other bands/groups that I won't go into. Some were good, most weren't to my musical tastes. ANYway... so Mandragora took the stage at about 4.30am and I was kinda sad cause there was maybe 12 people (including staff) there. ;-; There should have been more!!! But I was pretty much sitting up front so all was good. His costume was so adorable !=^-^= well, most people wouldn't say that, but I'm not most people and I have respect for those who make their own stuff, ie:music, clothing, makeup, hair, etc. because I am, in essence, an artist at heart. and yeah... good show. I enjoyed it fully. But I think I smoked WAY too much. Stupid addictive cheap cigarrettes >_<;;;
Before Mandragora went on, he came up to the stage area, where the peple sit/stand/whatever.. and I was like... OOoooh, the hair! And yeah... j00naku, you would have SQUEALED!! XD
So *sigh* that was my awesome weekend (well, just the AWESOME part) Now I'm back in boring Iwaki, in boring Fukushima. Waiting for December 24th and the Fatima live at Takadanobaba AREA, and the tongue piercing, and my MOM!! ALSO waiting for January 15th when I'll be moving to Urawa!! Maybe I should start packing. x.x I need to play my Bass some more. Bai bai. Oh, and before I forget...
HAPPY HALLOWEEN BIRTHDAY MALE-A-TUSS!!!!!
I love you wifey! ^-^
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update update uuuppppdaaaate!! yeah, im singing the update song IM GOING TO TOKYO AND I HAVE TO CATCH THE 6AM TRAIN SO THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GET UP AT 4AM AND LEAVE HERE AT 5AM!! YAAAAY!!! Male a Tuss, you know me, you know ALL those times we went for coffee and shit like that (like what..365456236875454 times) I've never EVER gotten like... jittery/fast talking/hyper/rap superstar, ne? I love run-on sentences! I also LOVE Pokka coffee!!! I havent had coffeee in SOOO long, so Im all jittery and I can type REALLY fast like.. WHOA And I can rhyme sort of. like 2 lines! Im a homey in the ghetto of Iwaki Hey mother fucker (cause rappers ALWAYS say this) you want some Pockey? SOO GOOD! I should be a famous rapper/bAss player/rock star/makeup artist/fashion designer! yaaaaayayayayay! Male a Tuss, you know me, you know ALL those times we went for coffee and shit like that (like what..365456236875454 times) I've never EVER gotten like... jittery/fast talking/hyper/rap superstar, ne? I may just go see MANDRAGORA tommorow/tonight at Shinjuku HeadPower.. But their stupid retard site has NO INFO that hes even PLAYING THERE WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH!?!?! To my j00nackt: I lub you, my Butabara Ninja. Oh, and PLEASE just touch him, ok ^^ like... be walking in the hallway, and just like.. BUMP into/grope his ass, ok?? YOSH!! Fucking coffee.. I love coffee SHit... just 4 more hours and I have to wake up.. I wonder how long it will take for this coffee to go away. It's odd, coffee makes me REALLY tired... well MOST coffe.... not THIS coffee though!! yay! Guess what im having for brekky tomorrow/in 4 hours?! ESPRESSO!!! oh god, maybe i should save it for when i actuall GET to Tokyo, cause I kinda sorta want to sleep on the train. I hope its not packed with SARARIIMAN's >_< that would suck the big suck. Hmm... 43 calories in this can of coffee... yummmmm I WANT MORE, but I told j00naku that I wouldnt and a Butabara Ninja always keeps their word! (when they want to!) Butabara Awaaaaaaaaaay!!!*throws Buta-shaped Oh yeah, seeing as I'll be in the Tokyo this weekend [or friday/saturday to all you NORTH AMERICAN BASTARDS (jk^^)] don't try to talk to me on msn, or wherever, cause I won't be on! (no shit!!) LMAO, everytime I hear or say something about Buta/butabara, I get reminded of TWO things:
GACKT (duh) BUtabara XDD I want my Butabara Prince!! YEAH, I was supposed to wrap this up like.. 4 hours ago! JA, NE!! *might post in LJ also* yeah, EEW
So, as per usual, I went out for my almost-nightly walk/smoke-or-3 and I must say.. the sky was amazing. It quite literally looked like velvet. The moon shining through black clouds. A beautiful sight indeed. I don't know what it is about the sky that facinates me so much. It's just so calming to look at the clouds swirling around. And when I realize that I really am as insignificant as an ant, then for some reason I feel at peace. I don't get it either. I guess those on the ground want what those in the sky have. To be free. How poetic am I?
Oh, and I got a Livejournal... for no reason. O_o *waits for the weekend and Tokyo and Urawa* One more thing... FATIMA LIVE ON CHRISTMAS EVE @ TAKADANOBABA AREA. FREE!!
I was kinda hoping that mum would be online right now. We were talking last night and well, she was freaking out cause there was another earthquake, which makes 4 in 2 days, but whatever. And now she's desperate to have me come home. Iyah. But.. now I'm not so sure. I think I'll go and send the chick who hired me an e-mail resignation. I want to be out of Iwaki by mid-January. ug. tummy is the hurts right now. Can't wait till Saturday, er.. 土曜日 yeah, I ALMOST memorized all the japanese days of the week... almost my throat is murdering me!! it itches, so I cough.. then i cant STOP coughing! mou ;_; and i did a bad thing last night. yeah.. the aspirin/alki thing @@ feel very dumb about that. my first class today... holy shit I dread that class. Those kids... I yell at them to sit down, i TRY to be calm... but FUCK I HATE THEM! If any of you try to start an english school, heres a hint: DONT PUT FRIENDS IN THE SAME CLASS!! They wont do anything you tell them cause they just want to goof off in front of their buddies. I'd much rather be changing shit-filled diapers than teaching these 3 kids. (yeah, you heard me, Male a Tuss...DIAPERS) I went to the pharmacy earlier and guess what? NO ASPIRIN! Either that, or the Japanese have yet another encrypted language that the whiteys cant crack. Or maybe its just me. But I was pretty pissed off. And like.. the only vitamin-c there is is in candy form (I may have mentioned that before, but I dont care, cause its fun to be repeptitive) I want to talk to my mom. I dont know what about.. just... I want to hear her voice... Fuck, my head is hurting so bad. I bumped, no, practically IMPALED my head on the vent thing for the stove here. TWICE. Two nice large pain-areas >_<
holy shit, i thought i just heard my mom call my name *blinks* Thats... impossible!! shes an ocean away... god i miss her. I cant wait till boxing day. This is the best present ever. I should start to pack the things that I want her to take home >_< fuck Im overpacked! in other news, I think ill go on another 'lets delete you assholes cause i thought you were my friends, but i guess youre not you fuckers' spree. 行きましょ！！ boop boop. there go 4 people. Male a Tuss, I *hope* to be sending your letter and BONUS out this week sometime. ^^ <3 you lots, babe! Oh, yeah... last night (saturday) there were a good 3 earthquakes. I felt them all! It was fun, cept for the first one... cause i was in the can. (>_<) Isshi's voice gives me goosebumps. if I ever am lucky enough to see Kagrra, live... I might just cry. their music moves me.. *sigh* I love them. I should maybe one day make a list of bands that I love...oi. uh. I cant wait till saturday... 東京へ行きましょ!! XD I have an interview at 2pm... dunno where though Oo Maybe I can take a look at some apartments while im at it, too! *goes apaato shopping*
God, Japanese television really sucks Klaha balls >_< i cant find my aspirin... i NEED some drugs for this fucking cold...or whatever the fuck it is that i have. Flu? Ebola? SARS?!?! I've never been sick this much before in my LIFE. EVER. I mean, its just I'm done with one bout of this shit and then BANG! look's like its time for round 2. I can't eat solid foods (unless I chew the FUCK out of them, which I don't want to do), and liquids - hot and cold - burn my throat. On my way to class this morning (getting a ride from the old old man) It felt like something was scratching and clawing at my throat. I had such a hard time breathing that I started to cry. It was so terrible. And I was coughing and dying. I think that mum wants me to come home early. I threw the possibility of it into our conversation and she got all super-happy. Which makes me sad because as much as I WANT WANT WANT to come home, I want to at least live in Tokyo, or even Osaka for a few months. I'm cancelling next wednesdays classes so that I can go to Tokyo for some interviews. I have 3 potential employers, and I need to see them because it would just be shit to move to Tokyo and NOT have a job secured. THEN I'd have to turn to hostessing, which I wouldn't mind if it didn't involve sex or 'favours' etc... unless it was with the bois in the coffin ^^ kekeke Ug. People in Iwaki stare too much. In Tokyo, NO ONE stares. Its like:
TOKYO: you're white... SO?? YAY j00nackt is online.
Once again, the Barbarackt can't sleep... so she's reading ppl's LJ's and Pitas, and she stumbled across THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS Click on it... then watch the clip.. CREEPY SHIT! Now the Barbarackt will try to get some sleep... after watching THAT? >_>;;;; FAITO! Uh, and yes, it IS fun to refer to the Barbarackt in the third person ^^ *faceplants*
I find that I've been drinking more and more since I came to Iwaki. In Canada, I'd drink very seldomly, if at all, cause I was always doing something, being busy; but here, I have nothing to do but waste my money on alcohol and unbelievably expensive apples (re:500yen, a little more than 5$cdn for 4 apples)
I've been sending out my resume like nobody's business, and so far, I've had 4 replies. One wants me to come to Osaka for an interview, but as much as I want to, I have NO TIME to go. I work until 5.30 on Saturday, so that leaves all of 4 hours to get to Tokyo(3700yen), catch the 8 hour overnight bus to Osaka(5000 yen), go to interview, take ANOTHER 8 hour bus back to Tokyo(5000 yen), 4 hour train to Iwaki(3700 yen), and TRY to make it to this house before 10am Monday. Yeah, I don't think I can swing that ;_;
But another place replied and asked me to phone them to arrange an interview this week...in Tokyo... Can I go thrice in one month? Will I have enough money to live? Will I EVER get those damn SHOES?! Stay tuned, same pita-channel, not-so-same-pita-time. *is glad that j00nackt updated ^^* Barbarackt Out.
***J00nackt: Butabara up your Pita, ne?*** writeup of the weekend. woke up at 7am on saturday. fast forward to after class (5.30) went to the train station, went to Ueno, met up with Fi at Ebisu, went to Roppongi, went to this REALLY CUTE PET SHOPPE!! XDDD EE!!! I saw a 'Sir Chesterfield of Manswhich!!' Som black guy touched my back area and was like.. HEY BABY. then another was like.. OH BABY OH BABY like a tape recorder set on repeat; quite silly. walked around Roppongi-hills area cause we didnt know where the fucking club WAS. It was across the street from where we were walking @@ met up with more foreigners, went to a super-fire-hazard club called 'Vanilla'
It rocks being a female (if you want to go to clubs)... you get into most clubs for free XD smoked WAY too much. now my throat is killing me.
walked too much. I can barely walk right now.
owwwww, my feet are the HURTY!!! ;__; I bought my bAss a strap ^^ now all he needs is a name.. something like: Lay Zero Toshiya Kino Kohta Nao.... n.n sounds ok, ne? Or just Laylay for short XDDDDDD I LOVE LAY! LOOOOOOOOVE btw, fyi, etc... fatima's site has updated with.... WALLPAPERS! *stares at pretty pretty Mizuha* ahhhh ^^ I need contact lenses like him!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOONACKT!!!
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EDIT FROM THE LAST POST REGARDING beaU as Luna Sea Names! ИINORAN K SAKAZO JUNICHI and the drummer ;^; whos name I STILL can't remember/find! He was a cutey though ^^ ━━(°∀°)━━ BEST EMOTICON EVER!! (stolen from Kino's, I mean K's diary XD w00t!!! j00nackt!! w0000t!!!
So yes. I went to Tokyo over the...Sunday-Monday. i was SUPPOSED to go Sat. night, but NO... Typhoon #22 just HAD to hit full force. Bastard. It wasnt even THAT bad (save for the flooding)... XXXD So I DIDNT get to see Shulla, which sucks, but I DID go to Narciss and I DID see abunch of awesome session bands! (members of different bands get together and form other bands/cover bands) I had to YOYAKU...IN JAPANESE cause hotmail is THE ASSHOLE and wouldnt send my email in Japanese... (I mailed Dengeki Tomato ^^) so after a bunch of incoherent emails, I get one with a phone #.. O.O I called it after like 5 minutes, cause I was trying to get my shit together.... But I phoned, and some chick picked up (NOT the kyoote bois that I thought would ^^;;;) So we managed to communicate somehow in broken Japanese/English and that was that. Then I got a call 2 minutes later... 'o-namae wa??' lmao. I was like.. SHIT! I never told them my name ^^;;; So I get to Narciss (in Saitama, my *hopefully* new home soon) find it no prob, which is NEW for me in Japan, and find the closest vending machine to it and hit it up for drinks. Next to the vending machines, in a van, there's these hottsexxsoup's putting their mekki on ^_^ it was SO kyoote! They had this total look of concentration on their faces ^^ I tell the front...person chick that I have a yoyaku for Dengeki Tomato, say name, pay money, blah.. enter! The place is SO small and intimate! I <3 it! It's way smaller than Saitama Kaikan, but that's to be expected cause Narciss isn't a HALL!
So the bands! (don't remember the EXACT order)
I think I was maybe the only person to stay for the ENTIRE show O.o stupid fangirls. Oh, and lolitas are bitches! XD just want to say that Then I was in a "let's support the indies bands!!" mood, so I bought 2 singles from Uma. They're good. ^^ (that's what the 2 cd's and the sticker were from my last post)
OK! so the Luna Sea Singles bandscore was bought because of a Luna Sea session band. And the accessories! There's a fan, cheapo plastic pink floofy kyoote handcuffs ^^ and a 16g earring that's NOT an earring but it being USED as an earring XD at... CLAIRES! :O yeah! AND THE PICKS!! CLICK L-R: hide, Gibson, hide, devilmanCLICK L-R: Gibson, PARAPPA THE RAPPER!!!, hide XDDDDDD Then I went home. I already miss my Tokyo. ;_; I want to go back this sunday to see beaU live again, but I don't think I will. That bAss took alot out of my wallet c.c
I went to Maruto, got stared at
Went back to Izumi... to Maruto, to the cd shoppe to see if they had Shulla's new cd. they didn't. BUT they did have THESE!! note! the LIMITED EDITION Hyde single was bought at Yan-yan... the mall thing at the train station in I
So now I have BOTH A AND B-TYPE!! w0000t!! along with Jinkaku Radio <3<3<3 and hide bandscore. I think I'll learn Hurry go Round first. Then Rosier XDDD
I GOT MY bAss!!! XDDDDD HERES WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE along with my other Tokyo shopping. I bought a Luna Sea Singles bandscore because.. I'll explain later ^^ but it has to do with VERY hottsexxsoup and a live that I went to at 浦和ﾅﾙｼｽ which made me VERY VERY happy ^^ kekekeke, Sugazo. (no thats NOT a typeo).
Other things I bought: hide!!!!! Ja, Zoo!! 1st press?? I don't know! and and and PIEE!!!! I bought PIE! as in PIERROT! Private Enemy, to be exact. I <3 Book Off!! And the perrrrty bAss and Luna Sea book. (bAss needs a name!! XD I'm thinking something RED like... i dunno, heh.)
And, just for good measure... here's some pics of my celly, who FINALLY has a name!!!! click click click
I ALMOST FORGOT THE ACESSORIES! ... tomorrow. I dead is am the now for the yes. i hope you enjoy EEEEAT. <3 Hyde... I *heart* you.
Insomnia still has its lovely claws lodged in my head.
I hate Iwaki. I hate it with a passion. I hate the woman who hired me. She said it was a large city. She lied through her fucking teeth. I made my mom waste about 4000$ to get me here. And now what? I live on a fucking HILL in buttfuck nowhere, with the closest anything being a 30+minute walk.
I want to go to Tokyo and say FUCK YOU to Iwaki. Maybe I'll even go in November... I also realised who my real friends are. Back in Canada, I'd talk to so many people online and whatever. But as soon as I got to Japan it was like, hey who the fuck are you? So that's been a rather eye-opening experience. I think I'll go delete some ppl from my msn. and maybe TRY to get some sleep. fuck. why bother , I know I won't be able to... I'm too emotional right now. Fuck emotions... I just want them to go away. No happy, no sad, no tears.
I can't sleep.
I bought 2 singles today instead of food.
So yeah.. the singles that I got. I got Shulla's new one, "Chibi" it's SO good. I have the B-type one. I need the A-type one. I hate it when bands do this x.x I think that I'll go see them live at O-west on the 10th XD
I wish I was dead. That way... I could get some sleep. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! baibai
*sigh*
CLICK HERE.
But yeah... I'm pretty pissed of at quite a few people right now. I won't name names, but you probably know who you are.
Just a quick post. I won't say what's really on my mind because I like to brood over things and let them stir in my mind for a while. Besides, I don't really feel much like crying tonite. Please reply to this either through email, or message/aim me (if you know me like that). I'd prefer email, however. Survey.
1. your name:
Please be honest, as this is only opinion, and I want to know what other people think of me.
*happy* I made a skirt. It's tres kyoote. It has boxpleats at the back, and is flat in the front. Also, there are 2 bear-shaped buttons (they don't function... they're just there to look gooods) and it's the kyoote. SO yamamaba XD *end happy* *begin non-happy* I wish I didn't care what people thought. I mean, sometimes I don't, but there are those seldom times where I can't help it. Especially being the "Resident Gaijin" *sigh* I hate Iwaki. If I had a job in Tokyo, or Saitama, I'd SO be out of here. The people here don't even try to hide the fact that I'm the white freak. They'll walk by me and just STARE and walk and stare. It pisses me off. I want to pack up and leave right now. But I won't. Cause I promised mum. *sigh* And, fuck the bass guitar. I need to save my money for Tokyo. Rent and expenses. To those of you who knew my plan, it's going to happen a few months sooner than first thought. And to those that don't... well, I may tell you if you ask, but if I don't, then don't push it. I was also thinking about making a list of things people should know about me... like... I usually won't initiate a conversation (in person OR online); I don't make friends easily; I am FIERCLY loyal, talk shit about my loved ones, you talk shit about me and I won't take that; I like to think that I stand up for what I believe in; I don't care about spelling, but grammar has a high rank in my life; I'm a quiet drunk; I am easily hurt; I am easily pissed off; I hold grudges for years; I trust too easily; if you get on my bad side, it's terribly difficult to get back on the good one.
That's all I can think of right now as my brain is turning into slop. I'm just depressed. And all alone. fuck. I swear my employers did this on purpose; built a school in one of the most isolated parts of town so that the teachers would have no life, ney COULD have no life.
Have I said lately how much I don't like the way my Japanese teacher teaches??? He'll ask me to translate something from english to japanese, and then say I'm correct, BUT also tell me how to say the same phrase FIFTY DIFFERENT WAYS, and it's SO fucking annoying 'cause I can't even write it down or anything, and he talks so fast...oi. I think I'll just learn online, and then have him 'teach' me just to placate those around me. Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo Tokyo TOKYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yep, ppl's, the Barbarackt will be invading Tokyo yet again on October 9-11th. w00tage. Hopefully, I'll get to go to THEIR live. And guess what??? There's a CHICKY in this band! *shock shock* Guess who it is? Send me an e-mail, ne? ^_^ or msg on msn. jet_li_is_my_fish [at] hotmail [dot] com.
KI KAI KAI KAI KAIIII!!! XDD I *super heart* the Kagrra! And I finally bought fabric! (not the kind I wanted, but, meh.) It'll make a GREAT Manba skirt! AND legwarmers!
I have a cold. FUCK YOU, IMMUNE SYSTEM! And I'm going BACK to my lovely Tokyo in 2 weeks!! w000000t!!!!! XDDDDDD Camel Crotch rocks. Even though they changed their name to *snickers* 3shine(sanshine). Silly boys. XD
I have a friend here! Tottemo ureshii desu! I met her through a friend whom I met at a piano recital, Yuko. She's so cute ^^
The next day, Sunday, I met Fi in Taira and we went around and saw the traditional Japanese dance festival that was happening that day. Great stuff. The kids that were dancing were SO cute!
Then we went back on the bus, pissed off the bus driver, and went to Fi's house where I met her auntie and uncle. Her auntie is SO cute!! And she gave us this yummy food, but we couldn't eat is cause we had udon at Daiei like.. 20 minutes before, so we just took it back to my house. So as we are about to leave, it starts PISSING RAIN. We took some umbrellas and our food, and left. On the way we smoke and smoke, and decide to stop off at Yookado (smaller mall) and get some boozies. On the way, we take a wrong turn, and then our food, which was in paper bags, fell on the ground, so we picked it up and carried it to Yookado and got PLASTIC bags and hoped that THOSE wouldn't melt. Thankfully, they didn't. We took the train back to Izumi, and decided NOT to walk up Murder Hill, and took a taxi to my house. Had some boozies, realized that soju doesn't taste like I remember it, had some Chu-hi and Malibu and Kimchi and ramen and shrimp crackers... then went to the park, smoked, had some Smirnoff Ice, came back, and decided to call it a night. Monday (respect old people day, so... NO WORK!) woke up at 9am, put our mekki on, had some more Malibu, left for the train station. Got to Taira, went to the anime shoppe, where they have THE CUTEST celly straps! And... SO MUCH YAOI!!! XDDD Yeah, it was much good times!
Then Fi's auntie came and picked us up and we went to her grandpa's house cause it was his birthday. We ate sushi and chiffon cake (SO yummy!) and had tea.
Then I met her cousin (not really met, but he came into the room twice). He's in a band called Camel Crotch. LMAO. And yeah. >.> We left, and drove back to Taira, where we walked around and saw a couple bands (there was a music festival that day XD) so we walked some more... and found the MUSIC SHOPPE!! And there's a REALLY nice bass for about 400$ that I'm getting next paycheque XDD It's like... teal ocean tortoiseshell blue *sighs* ahhh, so pretty. HOLY SHIT! THERE'S A NEW GACKT COMMERCIAL!!! FOR PUUCHO (i have no clue what it is) FUCK HE LOOKS GOOD!! So yeah, back to my day... after walking around, we went to eat YAKINIKU! Oh My Gackt is it ever yummers! We got 2 all you can eat plates of beef, 2 drink bars(refillable cokes) and 2 beers, and we ended up paying about $24 total. SO YUMMY! :( then I had to go, cause the last train was coming soon, so Fi and I parted ways with a couple hugs, cause no one hugs here, and we thought that was just wierd. Then I got home... and it was the best weekend in Iwaki. And I decided... I'm having a halloween Shindig/Box Social. YEAH I AM! I need sleep. Oyasumi. Oh, one last thing. Why do people go online when they just put their status to 'away' and talk to no one? Why bother being online at all then? I mean, I do it too, but only when I have to pee, or make something to drink, get dressed. But yeah, that pisses me off. G'night!
Cause Barbarackt is the bored right now.
w00000tage. Oh, and a biiiig thankees to Sammy-pu who found me lyrics to Kagrra, - Hana *smoooshies sammy*
Yeah, I bought e-ma. It's mighty good. Fuck, I'm so tired. -_- I don't want to teach today. I don't want to begin a new lesson with a new student whom I haven't met, thus don't know what level they are. I think I'll start learning kanji on my own. Found some good sites (I hope).
And I want my b-ass ;_; Maybe next month. I wanted to get the ESP model that Kohta has (the zebra one) but I thought, why? I can't put stickers or paint it or anything. So I think I'll just get a cheapo solid colour one.
YEAH! GDS!! nnts-nnts-nnts-nnts-nnts KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!! <3 京 Yooko, yooko, hawaiiannnzu *sings* Hawaiianzu! (is where Im teaching later) yay! Chiziru! she so kyoote. *faceplants*
(in relation to the title of this entry, if you're down with H.O.T., then you know what it means XD) My Japanese teacher thinks he can speak english better than he actually can. Pisses me off. He was trying to tell me that kore, sore, are; and kono, sono, ano can be used interchangeably. So when I DID use them like that, he said, no that's wrong... then told me about fifty BILLION different ways to say "that's my umbrella" I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! KORE NO WATASHI WA KASA DESU, bitch! Senile old man. But he brought me food, so he's cool XD (yeah, I'm two-faced, so?) Ug. so sleepy. ;.; So this last week, new relationships have been forged, while old ones have returned to their normal state of "let's just be friends again"-ness. Cept for THIS time, we WILL be friends! Cause I need ppl to vent to about Jrock, and well... Male a Tuss... lmao. 'nuff said XD I luff you though, Secret Lover. OH NO! the secret is out! X_X I think I'm going to make Eric change his name (not legally...YET) to ERICKT. XD YEAH! It's only fair. My new name is Barbarackt! whee! OH! and J00nerz, you can be... J00nackt! ...sounds like a rap word. J00nackt, foo!! I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
I WANT TO SEE FATIMA LIVE AGAIN!!! ;__;
I want to practice my Manba makeup application!! XD *gets brown facepowder*
And I ALMOST ALMOST bought EGG today. HELLLLLP!!! *is changing into a Manba* lmao!!!! X's and O's for everyone. ...unless I HATE you! XP
I joined.... THIS. LMAO! I'm also going to be a manba for Halloween!!
The Spyglass
Often concerned with right and wrong, and punctilious in expressing it, the Spyglass is best represented by the Customs Agent or the IRS inspector. This personality believes above all in the smooth and ordered flow of life. Initially seen by others as cold or uncaring, this personality is difficult for those more spontaneous members of society to understand. They appreciate plans and the best plan is one that has been used many times before. Then there's this one which is a little closer to the truth: At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration. Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. You are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different. You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are. Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavor but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence. You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own.(OH GOD, YES) Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'. You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.
Yeah... that's... pretty acurate as of now. I'm on a Laruku kick. I love them some more now. ahhh, Hyde's vocals are just beautiful.
Birthdays are boring and uneventful. Also, this staying up until 4am is taking a toll on me physically. And I feel like I may snap at any given time... dangerous for a teacher. -_- But I think it's just physical exhaustion. Some retard(s) phoned my house 3 times while I was in the middle of a lesson. X_X Secret Lover, if it was you, then... ask me for my schedule, and call when I'm not in class. I can even tell you the PST version of it if needed. I need to buy a scale; I can feel myself packing on the pounds. *sigh* I can't win, can I? In other news... Miyavi is a hott bitch. But why did he shave the sides of his head?? O_o I don't understand that boi. Still... I want to be his friend XD And I want some tequila. If I was Miyavi's buddy, we could go out and drink tequila all we wanted, and tell each other stupid stories and dance like idiots. yeah. that would be a BLAST!! ... I like random things?
Yeha! Im LEGAL IN JAPAN! Hmm... I seem to be the Problem Solver. I don't mind, but it's ever so draining. Especially at 2am -_- *sigh* guess that's what I get for being in Japan; 16 hours ahead of Male-a-Time. oi *dies* But, honestly, I love it. I love helping people with their problems. It makes me feel like a good friend, and it's good when you make other people feel good. Gives you that warm, smooshieness inside ^_^
J00nerz, XD, your welcome. Thanks for updating your bloggy-chan ^^ gomen about the whole retarded-dad-thing >_< all dads are retarded...
More tomorrow. about GUH!
I'd just like to say thank-you to everyone who ever believed in me, gave me words of encouragement, past and present. Those who told me to 'go for it,' instead of those who chose to say 'dont leave.' For all of those out there, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how much your words have done for me. Teachers, friends, not-so friends, co-workers, strangers. Thank-you. Male a tuss, Jeunie, Sammy-pu, Erik with a K, Amani, Danaka, Jing, Neal, all the awesome teachers and profs that I've had over the years, my family, and whoever else I forgot. And I have to thank the music as well. It, in combination with the people, have helped me get through more than a couple rough times. Doomo. Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to talk about something that I downloaded very recently.... Oresama Can we say hilarious movie? I have a new appreciation for Miyavi. No, not as an actor, well, kind-of as an actor, but seeing as he plays himself in a sort of 'Back to the Future'-style movie which has NO plot whatsoever, its still quite a nice piece of eye candy; especially when he kisses that guy.. you know... you've all seen the caps. Miyavi and the guy whom everyone thought to be Daigo Stardust with the powder blue hair. Miyavi is a real eccentric and a really bad dancer. In summary, this movie ownz.
Another thing I have fallen in re-love with: Plastic Tree. I must say, their new album, 'cell' is a masterpiece. They have skillfully returned to their roots. Ryuutarou's vocals are as always, hauntingly beautiful. I'm not going to spout some shit like 'aww, he needs a hug.' So what if many Pura songs are about drug experimentation? That's nothing. Take a look overseas at Eminem, for example. He sings (or raps or whatever the hell he does) about killing his mom and raping his girlfriend/wife and murdering her in front of their daughter. Aww, I think HE needs a hug, or at the least, some valium or prozak, or a suicide pill.
and yes, I do love random posts. Jeunie. Gomen ne? It'll all turn out for the best. This is just another stepping stone, don't let it crush you. Please.
FUUUUUCKKKKK!!!!! are you dandy?
Hell yes, I am! let me explain:
Theres a used manga/cd shop not too far from here about 30-40 minutes by foot. its called BOOK DANDY.
I LOVE IT!
The last (and first) time I went there, this is what I bought (total about $30)
list...
WTF, they're playing ERA's "ameno" on TV @_@ OK!
So, today when I went, HOLY SHIT! I got SO much good stuff!! XDDD yay!! Cause the shelf I thought was only for Enka WASN'T! XDD (total about $50)
There! That's about it. I'm not sure which of these (if any) are first press or whatever, but DAMN! I'm soo happy!
Oi, apparently, there's going to be a tsunami sometime soon. XD I can't wait! ^^ Now I just have to wait for my show to come on, then I can go to sleep and wake up early and learn some Japanese! (I have a sensei now^^) My show is called... THE VAMPIRE HOST or, as the English title says: Vampire GIGOLO! *pees pants* HI-larious! And then there's that show all about the wild adventures of Mamba and Kogals alike. *hides from scary girls* actually, I think I saw one of them in Shibuya X_X
OH YEAH!!! JEUNIE!!!!!!!!
One more thing ^^;;; Ojiichan and Obaachan came over today and wished me a happy birthday!! And they brought me a cake!! And a fan!! LIKE ISSHI!!! Now I can go to Kaggra, lives and not feel left out!! XDDD SUGOI! AND they gave me dinner, too! ^^ *feels herself gaining inches instead of losing them* AHH! VAMPIRE HOST IS ON! BAIBAI!! ==EDITED AT 1.30AM== What.. the .. fuck was that?? That wasnt Vampire Host >_< It was some other show... about how roses are tied to ones life and when they die so do you blah blah murder and suicide blah. Strange show!!
Cause I'm bored! XD
Whee!! lmao, I wish!
*originally written on paper right when I woke up XD* This is what happens when you read Plastic Tree interviews, and mix MSN sn's with watching live clips of drunk Jrockers before going to sleep XD FINALLY! BEST DREAM EVER! Yes folks, this one even beats (ever so slightly) my Diru dream where we were running around an amusement park with waterguns trying to soak each other! *shokku!* LETS GO OK! Kisaki, Jui and I were all hanging out talking about bands and how we should all be in one together. We were walking around my house(which was GIGANTIC). Then we had some food, and went outside to gather supplies for something. Now, I want to go outside and skip!! XDDD KISA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAN!! DAIDAIDAISUKI!! i think it had to do with the fact that I was reading about Ryuutarou and Akira's detective agency, and then I watching a clip of drunk Kisaki and Jui and then falling asleep XD BWEEE!!! OH YEAH! I managed to snag a FIRST PRESS copy of the new D'espairs Ray single, GEMINI! It's so good XD I LOVE it! And the DVD is the PV for BORN! XD HIZUMIIIIII!!! ZEROOOOO!!!! *explodes* *goes off to skip in the thunderstorm* ^_^
Ko-guma Tantei-sha, OUT!
Nyaaaaa, I can't sleep >_< but I'm SO damn tired! and there's that headache over my left eye thats pissing me off to no avail *le sigh* Jeunie, I think we have the same schedule. Whee!! Despairs Ray new single is out tomorrrowwww *technically!* XD yay Gemini! HOPEFULLY the ghetto cd store will have 1st press (comes with a dvd!) if they dont... >_<;;;; *explodes* ja ~.~
THIS is the bass the Toshitos wants!! TALBO!! Like Metronome XD I want any of them, cept the chrome plated one ^^ *thinks of all the fingerprints* its like a stainless steel fridge!! :O eh, that makes sense if I read it. maybe not to you, though XD *runs off to write letters and make lesson plans* ^^;;;;
New LAYout XDDD features none other than... LAY from FATIMA! *pets Lay* oooooh XDD Oh holy hell, editing this image took WAY too fucking long >_< It's only cause I kept screwing up and then I just started playing around with Photoshop Elements ^_^= nya! Then... I kept screwing up SOME MORE -.- But in the end, I really like the way this one turned out. I'm SO glad that Ash isn't there anymore XDDD In other news, I'm taller than the hot bois!!! How cute is that?! I went shopping with my Ojiichan and Obaachan at the local Maruto, and there were all these cute bois that work there and yeah *nosebleed* but I was taller than ALL of them LOL!! granted, I had my platfoms on, but still *whines* Good times. Oh yeah! Obaachan bought me WATERMELON! and KIMCHI!! and .. THESE OTHER THINGS!! YUM! And Ill prolly have more money to piss away, er, I mean.. SAVE!! Cause my Obaachan feeds me like... ALL the time! XD
*more randommmm!!*
*is the genki right now*
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